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The following paragraphs from Oswald Chamber’s classic, My Utmost for His Highest, really connect with Nanci’s four years of yielding to God about all the things she was constantly uncertain about.

When Jesus annihilates death, it shall be no more. We will not fear it, and it will have no hold on us. Don’t you long for that day? 

Yesterday was Nanci’s memorial service. Thank you so much to everyone who has prayed for our family and for the service itself. I believe our time was honoring to Nanci, and above all, honoring to her beloved Jesus.

On November 14, 2019, Nanci wrote the following in her journal: “Today I am thinking about faith. I have learned so much about faith. ...Faith is being assured that God Almighty always acts according to His character and works. He never waivers.”

I’ve mentioned that Nanci’s journal she kept over the last four years of her cancer contains many Charles Haddon Spurgeon quotes. A few months ago she wrote down some profound sentences from this sermon by Spurgeon, titled “Safe Shelter.” It seemed right to share more of it with you.

I write this on the one-month anniversary of Nanci’s homegoing. Strange to think that our true home is a place we’ve never been. Paul said, “I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far” (Philippians 1:23). Yet our eternal home will be on the New Earth where “no longer will there be any curse.”

Contemplating the final end of sorrow has brought me great comfort in my first month of grief after my precious wife’s death. I already can’t wait to see Nanci again and have her show me around Heaven, and then after the resurrection when we relocate to the New Earth, for us to both experience it for the first time together. How glorious that will be, and above all just to be with Jesus regardless of where!

God’s Word contains countless expressions of concern and anguish about the hard times people experience and the fact that they sometimes don’t feel God’s closeness. In this fallen world, “Why?” is a common question.

In October 2018, Nanci wrote in her journal that she was “above all, eternally thankful for the incredible growth in my heart spiritually. I honestly would not trade this cancer experience to go back to where I was—which wasn’t bad.”

In light of Nanci’s departure to be with Jesus four weeks ago, a kind sister reached out to me, saying she was hoping and praying that I felt the closeness of Jesus. I told her that I do indeed sense His closeness. At the same time, grief and sometimes depression come upon me in waves. But they do not drive out Jesus or the Holy Spirit, both of whom indwell me (Romans 8:8-11).

I usually don’t look for comfort from my own books—but when I set out a copy of 90 Days of God’s Goodness for a friend in need, I was thinking about Nanci and palpably feeling her absence. So I picked up the nearest book even though I’d written it, and the next thing I knew God had really touched me through the first six entries.

We received some great responses on Facebook about memorizing Scripture, and I’m sharing some of them here. I also appreciated the example of positive and encouraging interaction on social media.

I appreciated this article by Jeremy Linneman, lead pastor of Trinity Community Church in Columbia, Missouri. He shares several quotes from J. I. Packer’s Knowing God, a book God has used in my life profoundly. It is still one of my top five books of all time.

I’ve been finding treasures in emails that Nanci sent. For years she was part of a Moms in Touch group, praying with several friends for all their children, who are all now grown, many with children of their own.