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At the end of the day we have neither control over nor responsibility for the choices our adult children make. We can only model good choices and live in a way that reflects Jesus. We can pray, we can love well, and we can trust our perfect Father for the outcome.

Love is not a contract in which one party must fulfill its obligations in order to receive love. I’m really grateful that God wants a relationship with us and not just lists of responsibilities we must fulfill in order to earn His love.

This is certainly a situation where you will want to ask for and rely on God’s wisdom for what to say and not to say (James 1:5).

Over the years, the friendships Nanci and I enjoyed most, like with our friends Steve and Sue Keels, and Paul and Michele Norquist, are the ones where we laugh and have fun together but also talk about the things that really matter. Those kind of friendships are worth seeking out and preserving.

Eight years ago, Nanci and I did a question and answer time with the group of young moms at our church. One of the questions we answered was, “What do you like most about Jesus?” I remember this question and Nanci’s answer well.

The last week has been filled with many interactions about Roe v. Wade. I marvel at how the God of providence can do what He does, and it brings tears to my eyes to think that at last this nation’s highest court has reversed one of its most horrific decisions ever.

Nanci’s life illustrates how an ordinary, behind the scenes, hating-to-be-upfront follower of Jesus can have an eternal impact by making deliberate, careful choices to study God, daily contemplate His faithfulness, and love and invest in others, even when it wasn’t easy or comfortable for her. 

I received a letter from a reader, who mentioned four nonnegotiables of the faith and asked for advice how to live those out. Here was my response.

Josef Tson, once the best-known pastor in Romania, openly preached the gospel at a time when the Christian faith had become virtually illegal. Josef said, “During the time I was expecting to be crushed by the Romanian secret police interrogators, God became more real to me than ever before or after in my life.”

One of the more unique things at Nanci’s service was that she had requested her family be given the opportunity to record some thoughts on video about her rather than having to stand up and speak live. She didn’t want them to be nervous or self-conscious on that weighty day.

I love this article by Joshua Ryan Butler, lead pastor of Redemption Tempe, a thriving church near Arizona State University. What he wrote has the ring of truth—in all four causes for what is popularly called deconstruction, and which used to be called “loss of faith.”  

Several months ago, Nanci read this to me from her Charles Spurgeon devotional. I found it very touching, and applicable to the subject of children and teaching them to follow Christ.

I had the honor of speaking at Nanci’s memorial service last month and sharing my heart and perspectives. During my message I read several of her journal entries. The service was long (2 hours, 40 minutes) but many have said it held their interest. However, I want to give people the opportunity to see it in smaller chunks if they want to. 

What we need in our churches today are fewer actors and more sold-out followers of Jesus—converted people living lives centered on Jesus, the King of kings. And the good news is, there truly are many such people in our churches. Our goal should be to cultivate more and more of them.