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Your lack of feeling in relationship to the Lord could be related to some damaged emotions somewhere in your past. It is helpful to evaluate this area (not to cast blame, but to gain an understanding and add insight into why you may be experiencing what you are. 

There is a difference between being a homosexual and being a homosexual activist, just as there is a difference between having an abortion and being an abortion activist. An activist is one who publicly defends and thereby promotes the sin as a cause, who attempts to morally justify it.

Author Randy Alcorn is quick to point out that the Bible tells us much more about Heaven than we might realize. In Light of Eternity (1999) was his first nonfiction book about Heaven and in it, he addresses all the questions above and a lot more – and it’s all just a re-telling of what Scripture says.

God has a perfect time and place for all of us. He knows and has planned our circumstances, and while human choice is taken into account, God is not bound by the decisions of people. 

Links to websites and resources for mothers with unplanned pregnancies.

The biblical evidence is substantial for both the Arminian and Calvinist positions. John Wesley and Richard Watson were great men of God who took the Arminian position. John Calvin and Charles Spurgeon were great men of God who took the Calvinist position. It is not stupid or immoral or faithless to take either position.

Something to watch for is whether you're tending to go over-the-top in your persuasion. 

Knowing God's voice, I think, comes mostly from abiding in Christ, as in John 15. Part of that, but not all of it, is His Word abiding in us.

If you love to write and long to get published, here are a few tips to help you along your path toward publication.

(Inspired by Deadline by Randy Alcorn, page 338+) Doc Aloud:    Hello?! Heelllooo... Doc Voice:    Where is everybody? Where am I?                    (checks out hands and arms as though they are completely new)

Some recommended by Randy Alcorn theology books.

I believe you are quite correct to say that you are hesitant to “invite darkness” by pursuing a perceived demon. This is an area of spirituality that no one should ever “pursue” out of curiosity.

You are right that it's possible to think too much of what people think and say. What's really important is God's evaluation of our life.

Below are some organizations supported by EPM and recommended by Randy Alcorn that work with persecuted Christians and/or in their countries.