My heart goes out to you. One reason is because I can identify with some of what you’re going through. Earlier in my life I struggled with being overwhelmed by feelings.

I am disappointed with God because I sincerely want Him to work in my life to bring about the fruit of the Spirit, but I don’t see Him doing that. I want to experience His power in my life and let the Holy Spirit control me.

When I find myself thinking that this current challenge is going to kill me, I just remember that I thought the same thing about my first shower.

The answer is not simple. Some biblical texts seem to say no. Others, yes.