It’s common for those who are grieving to find attending church difficult. So it’s certainly understandable that you would find aspects of church life very challenging right now. But let me also encourage you not to give up on attending church in person.

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your loved one. I completely understand how you feel and absolutely know what it feels like myself to feel dismissed in my moment of pain by what others say and share.

Clarrisa Moll, author of Beyond the Darkness, shares five tips for the holiday season for those who are grieving. She writes, “There is a joy to this season that death, trial, and suffering can never take away.” So true. Because of Jesus, we have a rock-solid hope. I believe that more than ever since Nanci entered His presence!

In the journey of grief, we are not alone—one of the names of Jesus is Immanuel, which means “God with us.” Jesus is my closest and dearest friend. I can’t imagine life without Him.

We who are grieving need to hear these words: “Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:16, 18).

The Bible says this about grief: “And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope.” 

In times of distress, it’s easy to feel like God is nowhere to be found. That may be what you feel or think, but our feelings can lie to us, especially when we are experiencing depression. 

For many of us, the list of people we’re longing for reunion with in Heaven is lengthy. But those who have lost children, like Marshall Shelley and his wife Susan, have even more compelling reasons to long for Heaven. His writing beautifully demonstrates an eternal perspective on every human life. Whether or not you’ve lost a child in a miscarriage or after birth, I think you’ll be moved by what he shares. 

Writing about Nanci’s life, my grief, and our blood-bought hope in Christ has been therapeutic for me. I’ve often wished for a single page where what I’ve written is listed in one place, to share with those who ask questions and want to know Nanci’s story.