Question from a reader:
I have had an on again off again relationship with God. I want to believe very much but there is something that keeps me from fully believing. I struggle with this. I want to be a good person, and yet I am not always. I would love to believe and have God’s help when things are both good and bad. Can you help me?
Answer from Doreen Button, EPM staff:
Good for you! You want to be good, and you realize that you’re not. That kind of honesty is something Jesus loved. Read His parable in Luke 18:10-14 and you’ll see what I mean. I can imagine Him saying to you, “You are not far from the Kingdom of God.” It’s people who think they are good enough for God and have earned a ticket to Heaven that scare me (because of how Jesus responded to them…read Luke 5:29-32, and Matthew 25:31-46 if you aren’t sure what I’m talking about).
Paul, a follower of Jesus, wrote several very important letters to churches, many of which he started just a few years after Jesus died, resurrected and returned to the Father. Paul started out thinking he was very good, like the Pharisee in Luke 18. (Paul was also a Pharisee—a member of the Jewish religious elite.) He persecuted Jesus-followers and heartily approved of their imprisonment and deaths. When Jesus met Paul on one of his persecution journeys, everything changed. Paul realized his need for Jesus and followed Him with a whole heart ever after.
Despite all that, here’s what Paul wrote to one of his churches, “I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my flesh; for I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do. Instead, I keep on doing the evil I do not want to do. And if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So this is the principle I have discovered: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law. But I see another law at work in my body, warring against the law of my mind and holding me captive to the law of sin that dwells within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God, through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Romans 7:18-23).
A few verses earlier he’d written, “But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the fruit you reap leads to holiness, and the outcome is eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 6:22-23). And few verses later, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For in Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set you free from the law of sin and death…Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation, but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit of slavery that returns you to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. And if we are children, then we are heirs: heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ—if indeed we suffer with Him, so that we may also be glorified with Him” (Romans 8:1-2,12-17).
Our standing with God isn’t based on what we do or don’t do. It’s based entirely on what Jesus has done for us. Like Paul (“What a wretched man I am!”) we are absolutely lost apart from what Jesus did to bring us back into relationship with Him. But in Him no condemnation exists any longer. He sets us free from our slavery to sin and when we completely and unconditionally trust Him and His sacrifice on our behalf, we become His children! We have the best Father…one who will never abandon us or abuse us (Isaiah 41:10); never lie to us or walk away in disgust when we mess up (1 Samuel 15:29). All He asks is that we run to Him and love Him with reckless abandon (Isaiah 30:18). That’s what He’s done for us!
The “thing” that likely keeps you from believing is the enemy who wants to place a barrier between you and God. You’re probably familiar with what we call the Lord’s Prayer (although Disciples’ Prayer is more accurate—they asked Jesus to teach them how to pray). One line says “…and deliver us from the evil one…” Jesus knows our enemy and invites us to turn to Him and ask Him for help.
He will never turn you away when you come to Him in honest humility with your doubts and questions (John 6:37). But don’t rely on my words, or your feelings…rely on His Word and spend time seeking for Him in the Bible—time spent that you’ll never regret.
God bless you in your journey into the Kingdom!
