Question from a reader:
I have had an issue with looking at porn on my computer. I have found a solution that I feel will keep me safe without giving up my computer, but would it be wrong to pursue such an option? My pastor said that giving it up is simpler. I want to enjoy the good things of my computer, including contacting friends who I can only reach online. If I keep my computer, is it sinful or a sign I don’t love God enough?
Answer from Heidi McLaughlin, EPM staff:
I help Randy with answering questions, and we both commend you for confessing and talking to your pastor and reaching out for accountability and help. The act of keeping your computer for the reasons you list is not sinful. The sin is if you yield to temptations that will come. I would agree with your pastor about it being simpler to just get rid of it and I would add, also wiser. But just getting rid of a computer won’t keep you from sexual sin as there are so many other ways you can be tempted. That’s why it is so important to put into place all the other help you can.
In Matthew 5:29, Jesus says: “If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of the parts of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.” Jesus is using hyperbole to emphasize how seriously we need to take our sin. Of course, neither Jesus nor I are telling you to actually gouge out your eye, but in your case, getting rid of your computer would be the drastic measure you can take to overcome in this area.
Understanding that computers and phones with internet access have become almost necessary in our culture, one idea might be to get rid of your computer for a period of time to “reset” your brain and your habits. Handing over your computer to your pastor or a trusted friend for a few weeks to a month, a sort of “fast,” could be very helpful. It would be wise to use that period of time to dedicate yourself to prayer and reading Scripture to renew your mind and fill it with the nourishment of God’s Word.
I think of Matthew 4:4, where Jesus says that man does not live by bread alone but by every word that comes out of the mouth of God. I’ve been meditating on that verse lately and thinking about how we need to eat spiritual food (bread) daily in order to be healthy and nourished in our spirit and our minds. Fast from your computer and in the times that you would normally be on your computer, find a daily Bible reading plan to engage with. Then when you go back to your computer with the plan you have to keep you safe, your mind and spirit will be in a better place to experience success.
Randy talks more about the passage in Matthew 5 here.
He wrote a 3-part series on overcoming pornography. If you haven’t read it already, you may find it helpful:
You didn’t mention your “plan” but I’m guessing you may be thinking of installing a porn blocking app, something like Covenant Eyes? If you don’t already have something like that in place, it is a good first step to take but those apps are not failproof, and you will still need to do the work of renewing your mind and establishing other guardrails to help you succeed. Attending a regular accountability group with other men, getting counseling with a trained counselor, and having a trusted person you can hand your computer over to regularly when you know you are feeling weak would all be wise guardrails to have in place.
I’m so glad you have a pastor to talk to and he can help you with some of these things. If you need more resources, we highly recommend Pure Desire Ministries. You can join a group through them, and they also offer counseling and study resources.
