In the years since Nanci’s cancer diagnosis, and her subsequent homecoming in March 2022, grief has become my companion—a friend, and a necessary part of my growth. It is not an enemy; rather, it’s an instrument in the hand of the Master Artist, or the anvil on which the blacksmith crafts and hones his metalwork. Indeed, as painful as they are, these “light and momentary troubles are achieving in us an eternal weight of glory” (2 Corinthians 4:17).
The only way to avoid grief is to avoid love. The only way I could grieve Nanci less is to have loved her less. I’m so thankful to have had a relationship so great that the absence of it has left that great hole in my life. The hole doesn’t feel as big now, not just because of the passing of time, but because of healthy grieving and my certainty that our relationship hasn’t been terminated, just interrupted.
Writing about Nanci’s life, my grief, and our blood-bought hope in Christ has been therapeutic for me. I’ve often wished for a single page where what I’ve written is listed in one place, to share with those who ask questions and want to know Nanci’s story. Stephanie Anderson, part of our wonderful EPM staff, categorized our resources, so you can click on ones that especially interest you or that you’ve missed entirely. Even people who regularly read my blog don’t see them all, and those who do will have forgotten some that they might want to reread or send to a friend.
Articles about my personal grief process:
Nanci’s Death Isn’t the End of Our Relationship, Only a Temporary Interruption
The Opening Weekend of NFL Football, and Christ’s Companionship in Unanticipated Grief
A Season of Many Firsts without Nanci by My Side
Eternity Changed Because Nanci and I Met 55 Years Ago
The Four Biggest Assets in My Grief
The Great Reunion Awaits: Reflections a Year After Nanci Entered Heaven
A Brief Interruption in Our Relationship: Our Daughter Angela’s Reflections about Her Mom
What I’ve Learned about Grieving with Hope in the Two Years Since Nanci’s Homegoing
Articles about Nanci’s life and walk with Jesus:
Can Cancer Be God’s Servant? What I Saw in My Wife’s Last Four Years
Why the Year After Her Cancer Diagnosis Was the Best Year of Nanci’s Life
She Was Like a Tree Planted by Water
Nanci’s Memorial Service and Life Story
Ordinary Faithfulness Has Great Eternal Impact: My Message at Nanci’s Memorial Service
Her Children Rise Up and Call Her Blessed: Thoughts from Nanci’s Family at Her Memorial
She Loved Her Life: Thoughts from Some of Nanci’s Friends and Pastors at Her Memorial
An Introvert Can Have Great Impact in God’s Kingdom: Thoughts from Nanci’s Friends at Her Memorial
Articles written by Nanci, or with many quotes from her:
A Prayer to the Shepherd of My Life
“My Cancer Is God’s Servant”: Reflections by Nanci Alcorn
We Would Do Well to Dig Deep into God
Jesus Accomplished the Healing from Sin We Need, Even More Than Healing from Cancer
Contentment Turns All It Touches to Gold
God’s Purposes Prevail in Both Good News and Bad News
What Do You Like Most About Jesus?
God’s Good Plans for Us Are Better Than We Can Imagine
Trials Make Us Crave God's Mercy and Love
Life Is Far from Certain, but Jesus Is
Articles about grief:
Recommended Books and Resources for Those Who Are Grieving
Christians Grieve the Death of Believing Loved Ones, But We Don’t Grieve Without Hope
Rediscovering Your God-Given Identity after Loss
Healthy Grief Is Centered on God’s Promises
An Eternal Perspective Brings Us Great Comfort in Grief
Articles about helping others who are grieving:
Comforting Grieving People and Encouraging Them to Hold on to Solid Truth
Three Things to Remember When Giving Comfort to Grieving People
Helpful Things to Say to Those Grieving or Suffering
How to Care for Those Who Are Suffering and Grieving at Christmastime
Audios and videos about suffering, grief, loss, and Heaven:
A Theology of Suffering and Grief (message at Liberty University)
Trusting His Loving Purposes (message on Nanci, Suffering, and Heaven at California Baptist University)
Having Loved Ones in Heaven Makes Our Anticipation of Eternity Stronger Than Ever (video Q&A with fellow widower Steve Silver)
Remembering Nanci, Anticipating Heaven (interview on the Chris Fabry Show)
God’s Promise of the New Earth Gives Us Hope and Perspective in Loss (interview with Dr. Lee Warren)
An Eternal Perspective on Suffering, Loss, and Grief (message at my home church, Good Shepherd Community Church)
Real Grief, Real Hope (interview on Revive Our Hearts Podcast)
Walking Through Cancer with a Loved One (podcast episode for Joni and Friends)
No More Curse (message about the New Earth, given at my home church, Good Shepherd Community Church)
Grief with Heaven in View (interview with the Straight to the Heart Podcast)
Walking with Jesus in Grief (interview with Sean McDowell)
Articles about death, including Nanci‘s:
Dying Is but Going Home (written right after Nanci’s homecoming to Heaven)
Joining the Real Party in Heaven
We Are Not Dying Out; We Are Hastening on to a More Glorious Life
What Happens to Us When We Die?
Why We Don’t Need to Fear the Moment of Our Death
Articles written during Nanci’s years of suffering and facing her cancer, and after her death:
Discovering the Wonders of God in the Low Tides of Life
Delighting in God and Trusting in Him through Cancer
Honest Faith Can Cry out to God
God’s Providence in Joseph’s Story—and Ours
God’s Word Sustains Us When Life Is Hard
Finding Resurrection Hope, and How Suffering Can Drive Us Deeper into God’s Love
Articles about Heaven and the New Earth, and our loved ones who are already in Christ’s presence:
Our Best Life Yet to Come: The New Earth, Our Eternal Home
What’s the Difference Between the Present Heaven and the Future Heaven?
Biblical Hope Is a Solid Certainty
What Are My Loved Ones Experiencing in the Present Heaven?
Can We or Should We Talk to Loved Ones in Heaven?
Can Our Loved Ones in Heaven See Us During Important Times in Our Lives?
Is It Right to Long for Reunion with Loved Ones Who Have Died?
Does Our Marriage to Christ in Heaven Mean Our Earthly Marriage Partners Won’t Be Important to Us?
Randy’s booklet Grieving with Hope: Walking with Jesus in Heartbreak is available from Eternal Perspective Ministries.
Are you facing a great loss? Perhaps a loved one or close friend has died. Great love brings great sorrow, and healthy sorrow recognizes the immensity of loss. But when death and loss come close, the temptation toward despair and hopelessness is often not far behind.
Author Randy Alcorn encourages you to go to God with all your sorrows and to remember that Jesus, your Good Shepherd, walks with you—a suffering Savior who is well acquainted with sorrow. No one can bypass grief, but you don't walk this dark valley alone. Jesus will lead you, and he guarantees that death is not the end and Heaven awaits. In Grieving with Hope, Randy gives perspective and practical advice to help readers on the grieving journey, so that in time, your grief will be accompanied by joy and hope.
